Welcome back to MB. Hope you’ve got plenty of ink this week. Have fun!
An undertaker, also known as a mortician or funeral director, is a person who prepares dead bodies for burial or cremation and makes arrangements for funerals. The term undertaker refers to anyone who undertakes a task. The specific use of the word emerged in the 1690s from funeral-undertaker. One of the more specialised roles of the undertaker is embalming: the science (or some would say art) of preserving human remains by treating them with chemicals.
Angelina Jolie, who celebrates the big four-oh today, once dropped out of acting school and took a home-course in embalming to pursue her ambition of becoming an undertaker. Jolie is the daughter of actors Marcheline Bertrand and Jon Voight. Her parents separated when she was very young, and her mother gave up her acting career to raise her. When she was fourteen, with the approval of her mother, Jolie’s boyfriend moved in with her, and they lived like a ‘married couple’ for two years. It was during this period that she developed an interest in punk culture and embalming. Once the relationship ended, Jolie returned to acting school and went on to star in the Tomb Raider movies, win one Academy Award and be nominated for another. In 2008 Jolie spoke of her punk phase when she said:
I am still at heart—and always will be—just a punk kid with tattoos.
Lets wish Angelina a happy birthday with this week’s photo prompt:
The Judge
Judging this week’s contest is Jessica Franken, winner of MB1.22, and MB1.33! Read her winning stories, and what she has to say about flash fiction here.
What?
A story of between 90 and 110 words starting with UNDER and ending with TAKER and incorporating the photo prompt.
Who?
Anyone, but especially you!
Why?
Why not! Because it’s fun. Because it’s a challenge. Because the winner will receive their own winner’s page, their story on the winning stories list, a ‘who is the the author’ feature to be posted next week, entry into the ‘Micro Bookend of the Year’ competition, and a copy of this year’s winning stories compilation.
When?
Now! Get your entry in BEFORE 5:00 am Friday (UK time: http://time.is/London).
Where?
Here!
How?
Post your story in the comments section. Include the word count and your Twitter username (if you’re Twitterized). Don’t forget to read the full rules before submitting your story.
Anything else?
Please give your story a title. It will not be included in the word count.
Please try to leave comments on a couple of other stories. It’s all part of the fun, and everyone likes feedback!
Remember, only stories that use the bookends exactly as supplied (punctuation is allowed) will be eligible to win.
278 Responses to “Micro Bookends 1.34 – UNDER [micro] TAKER”
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Margaritaville Reversal
(101 words)
Under the influence of a Margaritaville haze,
he’d gotten the ‘thing’ in his wilder days.
Now he regretted and oftentimes fretted,
no one can know, and it really can’t show.
Key West life behind, but the future looked grim,
in seminary, he’d have to get her off of him.
He showered in private, avoiding his classmates,
and dared not go swimming when out on a date.
He hated mirrors where she stared coyly out,
“Put on some clothes,” he wanted to shout.
A future ‘man of the cloth’, he wasn’t a faker,
But for the removal, he can’t find a taker.
It would be interesting to hear the backstory on this. Did you mean “but” instead of “bur” in the last line?
Thanks for catching that Amberlee, I did mean ‘but’.
Backstory: In Jimmy Buffett’s song “Margaritaville” the MC gets a tattoo of a woman while under the influence, but doesn’t remember doing it. In a movie (I forget if it’s South Pacific or Operation Petticoat, with Cary Grant and Tony Curtis) one of the men has a risque tattoo that all the sailors love, but he wishes to get rid of because he’s gotten engaged back home. And tattoos are almost a way of life in Florida. However, as many grow older they seek to have them removed when they enter the business world, or change their outlook on life. All of this influenced my take on the prompt and how I wrote the story. I hope it helps.
Into the Dark
(110 Words)
@iskyhaggarty36
Under the lid of the coffin it smelled of fresh pine.
No one had told me what happens after you die; I didn’t expect this.
The wood-splinters stuck to my fingers, the air tasted stale, and memories stayed tattooed to the walls of my slowly rotting mind.
Hisssssssssss.
I felt something spidery climb its way up my chest.
“Hello.” Said Death.
‘Hello’ I thought, and heard Death smile.
“I’ve watched your life. You seem so kind.”
My friends always jokingly called me ‘The Giver’, I thought.
Death leaned in.
What felt like a bony finger caressed my face.
“You may be the giver,” it whispered, “but I am the taker.”
Oops, sorry Geoff, having a change of heart. Could you change the “said Death” in the last line to “it whispered” instead? thanks!
Oh, and “slowly rotting head” to “slowly rotting mind”? Sorry! Thanks 🙂
P.S: Sorry for the messes; it’s an off day for me.
Done 🙂 Who’s Geoff? 😉
Oh no! As you can see i’m just not fit for being awake today… So sorry David! I need to sleep. 😛
Bwahahaha! I am the real Death… er… I mean ‘Geoff’… whispering in your ear that, in the last sentence, ‘may’ is preferable to ‘might’ when it is followed by a contrasting statement.
Nice creepy take on the prompts though, Iskandar.
Thank you!
Also, DAVID, I think GEOFF has a point. Could I switch out the “might” for a “may”? Thanks tons!
P.S: I know this week has been a mess for me, and I apologize for that.
P.P.S: I managed to take a nap, so at least i’m getting names right now!
Done 🙂 Yup, Geoff knows his onions, all right 😉
Very nice, very creepy. So, the Old Man will have you, even if you’ve been a giver all your life – doesn’t quite seem fair, does it? Great, spooky take on the prompt
And such is life! Thank you so much 🙂
Yes, quite right. A pleasure to read 🙂
Wow I love this. Dark and chilling. Amazing use of the bookends!
Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Great job! Love this take. 🙂
Thank you! it hit me after reading an interview with Neil Gaiman and Kazuo Ishiguro… I don’t know, but I tried to bring a little bit of Pratchett into it as my tribute.
Read that interview and it is AWESOME!
it SURE IS! I become such a fangirl-y mess when it comes to Neil Gaiman, guilty confession 🙂 😛
Great take.
Entertaining story – as was the tale of corrections.
I’m glad you liked it! it was an odyssey of righting the wrongs indeed…
So, his final gift would be to the Taker. Hmmm. Creepy. And I agree with Steph about the trail of tale corrections 🙂
When power corrupts
@geofflepard 110 words
Under the influence. That’s the accusation. Like the guilt isn’t tattooed on my forehead.
You can’t stop, can you? You can hold up a mirror but it doesn’t show who pulls the strings. You look to blame someone else. ‘He held the gun, that nutter.’
Bottom line it’s down to you. The incessant clamour, Siren voices chirping away. Telling you it’s natural, it just is. But you decide.
I wanted to give back, you know, when I ran. Principled. I would do good. Now? Just one signature and we go to war. Because I have that power. Lives inevitably taken to keep me here. I’m the giver who’s turned taker.
“You can hold up a mirror but it doesn’t show who pulls the strings.” love this line. x
Thank you Foy!
I agree with Deb, that’s a great line. I like how you show that this one with so much corruption had a heart and still regrets some decisions.
Thanks
So much truth in so few words.
Under the raw light of the lamppost
She laid.
Feeling weak and left with nothing
But scars of pain.
Waiting for the judgements of her sins
Ashamed.
Was it the lifting of the morning frost?
The cold…
No, it was only
Her sorrows
Reminding her
The guilt
Of forgotten
Hopes.
Her example was built.
She would never reach Heaven.
Because of what she had given
Him.
The light getting more and more dim,
The sparkle of her eyes
Weakened.
Life was
Beaten.
He watched her
He was the virginity taker
EDITED
The Loss
Under the raw light of the lamppost
She laid.
Feeling weak and left with nothing
But scars of pain.
Waiting for the judgements of her sins
Ashamed.
Was it the lifting of the morning frost?
The cold…
No, it was only
Her sorrows
Reminding her
The guilt
Of forgotten
Hopes.
Her example was built.
She would never reach Heaven.
Because of what she had given
Him.
The light getting more and more dim,
The sparkle of her eyes
Weakened.
Life was
Beaten.
He watched her
He was the virginity taker
So sad. “The guilt Of forgotten Hopes” and just… then ending. It feels like he took more than her virginity.
Thanks Amberlee 😀
Interesting, sad, red
Thank you Paul 🙂
Pleasure
I forgot to add that there are 90 words
MOST PARLORS ARE NEAR BARS (104 words)
Under the arms hurt the worst. Even worse than “you know where.” I’ve been doing ink for twenty three years and I’ve seen it all. Colorful koi fish. Anchors on sailors. Thousands of tramp stamps. Skulls on well, everyone.
My least favorite? Eye lids. In fact I hate all face and neck tattoos. One word for that: unemployable.
No matter what letters I poke into someone’s body, 90% of the time it spells “regret.”
It’s my living, but I sure as hell don’t have any. When it comes to these permanent mistakes, I’m a giver not a taker.
You did it again, Steven – convinced me that you have direct knowledge of the subject you are writing about. (You must have had a very colourful life…) Smooth use of the bookends. Enjoyable read.
[ Here’s a tip, if word count is tight: numbers that are two words when spelled out are actually hyphenated – e.g. ‘twenty-three’ in your story. 😉 ]
Sorry Geoff, never been in a tattoo joint, but I’ll take your words as a compliment! Thanks for the tip about the word count.
‘No matter what letters… it spells regret.’ What a great line! You moved so smoothly from the first word prompt to the last – love the hint of humour and the narrator’s voice. Great
Agree with , Geoff. Are you a tattooist? I’m convinced!
Just the muse in my little ol’ head making up stories again! Thanks for the kind words.
This is great! Love the title.
Straight to the point
Wise man.
Steph, my friends and I used to play a game: if you HAD to get a tattoo…where and what? Care to share?
Never, ever, ever; but if I HAD to, it would be small, back of shoulder and would probably be a small phoenix in memory of some close family & friends. My eldest daughter has a line from a Metallica song on her arm! What about you? Should be an open question to everyone at MicroB this week!
My dog’s face on my ankle (below sock level) with the words LOVE NEVER ENDS
Love that idea! On my shoulder- my fave line from Tam O’Shanter.
No matter what letters I poke into someone’s body, 90% of the time it spells “regret.” Love that line 🙂 He should travel to high schools giving this speech 🙂
That ‘regret’ line is brilliant. My husband has a number of tattoos. He gets a new one every summer. He always assures me the next one will be the last- it never is! Also someone told me that you should never get a tattoo from an artist who is covered in them. Your story rings true!
Twitter @AvLaidlaw
107 words
The Tyger
Under all those tattoos, I think, she would be pretty enough. You can see it in the way she walks through the twilight room, little different to other girls but for the tiger stripes inked across her face and her neck. It must have taken months of pain under the needle. I ask her why she did it. “Why not?” Her breath is hot and feral. “You find it strange?” The pale light from the window burns brightly in the night of her eyes. She hasn’t scarred herself. It is fear, the prickling of my skin and the tightness in my chest. She is beautiful. A breath-taker.
Lovely! Crisp images brought to mind with this one. 🙂
Very original use of the prompt. 🙂
Great imagery.
“The pale light from the window burns brightly in the night of her eyes.” Terrific line. Evokes the fear the MC feels.
under the Thames, I slip
to wager my soul
with a request
for the river’s soft geometry
to be etched into my bones
by lungfuls of salt ink;
asking, in return
for nothing more
than a gentle end to sorrow
a return to the source
to be held safe
in its ebb and flow
But this is not like falling asleep
in some tidal shadow
as my thoughts are
exchanged for fire
and my body whelves like an eel
before turning to stone
just another thermal fax
eyes rolling up and sinking
ghost written
for the odds were uninteresting
and The Old Man of the River
is always the taker.
110words
@dazmb
Sorry – the piece is called “Thermal Fax”.
A thermal fax or copier is used to transfer tattoo stencils onto the skin, to make sure the end result is as expected.
Such imagery! You can almost smell the river. It’s lovely, so lyrical and beautiful and sad. Really nice work
Gorgeous!! Lots of poems today… I wonder if it’s due to no 3LineThurs… 😉
thank you Foy and Lynn. I’ve never realised there were so many place you can write on the internet!!!
@dazmb
108 words
Title: Thermal Fax
under the Thames I slip
wagering my soul
for lungfuls of salt ink
to etch the fabric of the water
into my bones
asking in return
for nothing more
than an end to sorrow
safe passage to the source
to be held as a lullaby
in a gentle ebb and flow
but there is no slow falling asleep
in a comforting tidal shadow
thoughts are exchanged for panicked fire
my body whelves like an eel
and regret pulls me down
as my eyes roll up into permanence
another thermal fax, ghost written
for the odds were uninteresting
and The Old Man of the River
is always the taker
(ahem – I’ve rewritten it into something I’m a bit more happy with and will probably continue to do so in the privacy of my own head for some time. I promise not to clog up your board with any further edits though! Many apologies)
I agree with everyone, beautiful poem.
It’s beautiful-even in its shades of darkness. 🙂
It’s so beautiful!
Lovely entry
Waro’s Three Decisions
@hollygeely
108 words
Under duress, Waro’s decisions were poor.
So when Meerla the Artist showed up in the Tattoo Ship Waro followed his colleagues aboard. Meerla offered to tattoo their division insignia amongst their home constellations; “All the soldiers are doing it,” she said.
“I want two!” said Yorfa.
“I bet Waro’s too chicken,” said Zeep.
Waro volunteered to go first.
He was relieved to learn that Meerla used anesthetic. When he woke, she showed him the mirror.
“What the ding-dong have you done?” Waro shrieked.
“Isn’t it marvelous?”
“No! You’ve covered my entire body! Do the rest of them look like this?”
“Nope,” Meerla said. “You were the only taker.”
Ah, a sage lessong on the dangers of having a tat done under anesthsia! You create really interesting other worlds with so few words – it feels like sci-fi, but you’ve created the illusion so smoothly, with just names and ‘constellations’ really. A really enjoyable read
😀 Thank you!!
Pleasure 🙂
Oh poor, Waro!! He should’ve seen that coming 😛
Alas, he was foolish 😀
Poor Waro, somehow you knew it would go wrong for him 🙂
Always think before you ink!
That’s another great line! Pity you couldn’t squeeze it into the word count as the moral of the story.
I take it you are feeling better this week, Holly, because that was a really funny take on the prompt with smooth use of bookends: classic Geely!
Thank you! And I am feeling a bit better 🙂
“What the ding dong.” I just spit out my coffee onto my keyboard. Thanks a lot Holly!
No problem! 😉
Apparently, she meant ALL the home constellations. Great fujn, as usual! 🙂 I agree with Steven- that’s a terrific line
*fun
😀 thanks!!
Poor Soul! Terrifying and funny!
Thanks! 🙂
110 Words
Sleeping Beauty
Under the leer of a new moon, inky slithers melt into life.
A mermaid licks salt-crusted lips, flicks her scales and dives, breaking through the waves of skin that roll across your chest.
The rose unfurls its petals, nips at flightless doves, thorns snatching at banners declaring ‘Stella’, ‘Gloria’ ‒ ‘Mum’.
You wanted ‘ink’ ‒ to be a man. Now the pictures that smother your skin smother you.
They weave and warp to form a tattoo where you never felt the sting before – your throat.
You dream of the needle, of the sea, of Sleeping Beauty cradled in her bramble nest. You stir, gasp, swallow.
Ink is your final breath-taker.
Really nice story with great contrasts!! I really like the imagery of the mermaid 🙂
Thank you, Manon
Oo, I love this!! Hope you’re allowed to hyphenate the bookend.
Hyphens are fine so long as TAKER remains intact.
Can we have an update to Rule 2 in the full rules to this effect please, Dave?
[ I would have found it easier to come up with a story if I’d known that you were allowing hyphenated words for the otherwise very restricting closing prompt! 🙁 ]
Hi, Jacki, thank you very much for your comment. Just checked, the rules do state that punctuation is allowed, so here’s hoping 🙂
“inky slithers melt into life”
LOVE this wording 🙂
I was struck by those words as well- and what a way to go…
Thank you so much, Sydney 🙂
He wanted ‘ink to be a man’ and is now smothered by his decision, lovely words to convey regret.
Thank you so much 🙂
Beautiful. 🙂
Thank you, Foy 🙂
Lovely stuff, Lynn. Reminiscent of Ray Bradbury’s “The Illustrated Man”.
Thank you so much, Geoff – what great praise! You know, I’ve read some Bradbury, but not that one. I’ll have to hunt it out and add it to the (huge, teetering) pile of books ‘to read’ next to my bed 🙂
It’s just a short story, not an epic novel. You might be able to find it on the web.
Ah, okay. Thanks for the tip – I’ll take a look. Didn’t they make a film of it staring Rod Steiger – or was that Roy Schneider? I did always get the two mixed up!
109 Words
The bedpost tattoo
Under the leer of a new moon, she watches Guy sleep. For hours, he’s lain blue-lit by the moon, gold-lit by her torch.
Memories fall through her mind like knives, murdering each old, fond thought. Her fingernails once scratched at his bicep as she counted and recounted the notches on his bedpost tattoo. He laughed – swore, ‘no more women, baby, not since you’.
Finally, he groans, disturbed by the torchlight or his own dark thoughts. He twists, rolls over, arm thrown up to cover his face.
The torchlight shivers as she counts.
As she runs through the cold, cruel half-light, he is transformed, renamed. No longer Guy, but Faith-taker.
“murdering each old, fond thought” tells so much!! You might need to ask Dave if you can do a hyphenated bookend but I do love “faith-taker”!
Hyphens are fine so long as TAKER remains intact.
Good to know 🙂
Indeed!
Thanks Foy. Yes, I was pleased with that – it felt like a truism too, how love is eroded when you begin to think negatively of someone. I wondered about the hyphen, but remembered reading (somewhere) that adding punctuation was okay? Anyway, too late now 🙂
Actually Dave cleared it up and said it was fine so you’re all good!! 🙂
Ah, thanks Foy 🙂
A bedpost tattoo- great idea for a story! Love both your entries.
Thank you – really kind of you 🙂
You can almost feel the chill, cold air in this piece, the dying of a relationship almost tangible.
That’s great to know, thank you – I’m never quite sure if my intentions come across well, but you’ve reassured me there 🙂
“bed post tattoo” …nice
Many thanks, Stephen 🙂
What an awful way to discover the faithlessness of the faith-taker…
Yes – not a nice character al round, that man!
Something to Remember Him By
110 words
@rowdy_phantom
Under your anklebone: a silver bell. The last Christmas Dad came home, stumbling through the candy-cane winks of the lights.
On your left wrist: the dove outline. The little brother you never got to hold, whose growth had crowded out Mom’s lap (not that she got much chance to sit around after Dad left). You should have saved that space for the third.
Above the left breast: a glass heart spidered with fractures but still whole for what Mom did (and you finding her).
The inner thigh: a dagger, a name, and a future date. You did it yourself. You’d showed the design to local artists without a single taker.
Oh, this is amazing! I adore the idea of tracing someone’s history through their ink. Fabulous as always.
Thank you!
Oh I wish I’d written this!
Thank you for reading. It was one of the few that came relatively quickly.
Brilliant piece, Nancy. Lean and mean just as flash should be.
Thanks!
I love how you say so much without actually coming out and saying it. Great job. 🙂
Glad you liked it!
Beautiful. Telling the story through the tattoos without actually ‘telling’, the images you chose for each tattoo perfectly reinforced your message.
Thank you so much.
I love the imagery, but am definitely creeped out by (and darkly curious about) the last line! Well done!
Don’t lots of people get tattoos of their father’s name?
Brilliant idea, perfectly executed, Nancy.
Thanks
Under
@Donnellanjacki
110 words
Under the tattoo on my chest is a hole. Hidden by the magnificent inked wings that beat to the rhythm of my breathing.
It is a tunnel. Needle-thin.
You searched for it once, feather-light fingers upon my feather-etched skin. “There’s no hole, hun,” you smiled.
“Here,” I whispered, pulling you closer. “Listen.” Your cheek was cool against my indigo skin, your brow knitted. “Don’t you hear the echoes inside? The wind, howling right through? “
You made no reply as you were slowly sucked in, atom by atom, along the thread-wide entrance to my soul.
You were just another sweet lover. A generous donor.
And I am the Taker.
Love, love, love!!! So much color and originality.
Wow. Brilliant! Love every word.
Thanks both, so much! 🙂
The words so clearly convey that emptiness within her (the echoes, the hollowness) even though she’s masked it so cleverly with her tattoo. Nice work.
This is so wonderfully done. I definitely have questions about the Taker!
So cool and evocative. I couldn’t stop thinking about tiny black holes–and, here, the indigo body of an event horizon.
Him
(105 words)
Under my skin; deep in my bones- that’s where he knows he is.
Under an inky spell, written through the layers of me, that’s where he knows I am.
He cocks his head to one side, the edge of a story flashes above shirt collar.
I lean in to hierolgyphs and kiss- danger tastes like sulphur.
Black pours on to sky while orange accelerates across the page of us.
Flames lick at the ticking clock, and I know it’s Time that’s burning. I offer him my breath in screams; he draws it in, sucking at it, taking.
Taken.
Taker.
Wow – all these entries are amazing.
“Orange accelerates across the page of us” -fabulous line.
Marie, this is gorgeous! so much I want to pull out and highlight.
Mysterious Vampire
Great imagery for became a dark piece as you read more. ‘Taking, taken, taker’ – love the way you built up to that last bookend.
“danger tastes like sulphur” …nice
So many great lines! Particularly loved “written through the layers of me” and “danger tastes like sulphur”
@fs_iver
WC: 110
Supply and Demand
“Under the breasts, yep, inflate those to a Double D. Sorry, what’s the question?”
“Your response to critics who say your work’s insulting to women?”
“Go shave yourself. Can I say that on BioWaves? The tongues wagged over genetic modification, they’ll wag over replica science. Crank AC/DC loud enough ya can’t hear ‘em.”
“Sir, any comment, ‘What Brian O’Canna does is cheap imitation, a tattoo artist playing God’?”
“Is this an interrogation or an interview–Kyle, program a little more squeeze in that trunk.”
“Are 3D printed women really females if they can’t produce children?”
“Now who’s sexist? Look lady, I’ll be the maker as long as there’s a taker.”
Dave, could you change “restorative sciences” to “replica science”? Please and thank you 🙂
Done 🙂
Thank you!!
GAH! Sorry, me again, Dave. If you get a chance could you change “critiques” to “critics” for me? #Typingtoofast
Done 🙂
You’re the best!
Wow, LOVE this take, Deb!
Thanks! 😀
The last two lines of dialogue set the whole thing for me, especially the “Look lady” part. So authentic.
Thank you, Isky! I wrote the comment and then realized how sexist it sounded. Thus Brian’s response. 😛
What an original take on the prompt – I’m suddenly furious… 🙂
haha! Thanks? 😛
Nice bit of commentary 🙂
Thanks, Steph. Just trying to keep it real 😉
And it was – very 🙂
Wow Foy, different kind of voice for you here…it works, but leaves me feeling weird. I need to go walk in my garden or something…
Trying to branch out. Hopefully it worked :p
I love that Brian told the reporter to go shave him/herself. It was such an intriguing take.
I took that to be Brian’s ‘response to critics’, presumably taking them all to be hairy-legged feminists! (I’m gonna store that “Go shave yourself” retort in my Big Book of Plagiarism, Foy! Nice job, li’l lady 😀 )
Interesting! ‘Are 3D printed women really females if they can’t produce children?’ What a brilliant debate.
Thanks, Marie. We don’t have enough to discuss as humans, do we? 😛
(94 words) The Chocking Game
Under the pressure, he wanted to play the « Choking Game ». His throat was more and more tightened by the scarf. He could not breathe anymore. He firstly felt dizzy with some impression of bliss. The beaming faces of his friends faded away. The smiles were pulled further every second, looking darker, like if weary of the sunlight. The shapes became more and more round, pledging new experiences. It was almost impossible to deny the promises brought by the gloom. He closed his eyes, fainted and passed away to meet the life taker.
oups *choking and I forgot to incorporate the photo
Dangerous game, he got caught out in the end.
Ooooh, I remember when people played that game (I think they called it something different). Although they claimed it was harmless, I was always afraid it would end like this.
Perhaps the other name of the game I’m referring to is the “Scarf Game? I know that there are several ways to call it
The Cost of Beauty
110 Words
@ceckybonway
“Under the male gaze again, aren’t you?” Bradley thought, as he decided which shade of rouge would give her the most life. Even in death, the actress-turned-activist could not get away from being objectified.
She was too beautiful for her own good. The media constantly disregarded the content of her speeches in favor of talking about her appearance. Had she gained weight? Were those dark circles under her eyes? Are her breasts fake?
In her last speech, she begged them to rise above such shallowness. It’s hard to stay afloat when heavy shackles of judgment weigh you down.
She asked for someone to free her.
He was the only taker.
Yet the same comments are not turned towards men; the media really must move away from this type of thing. Nice take on the bookends.
I can’t decide whether to be creeped out or fire up… Nice 🙂
Great story, Becky.
Thanks, Geoff!
Towanda
108 words
@sydney_writer
Under her dress, I tattooed the word “WASHED” the day before she got married. I never thought I’d see the blue ink on her skin again.
The pouring sheets of rain like blankets, the car careening across the mid-line like a bouncy ball from a slingshot, the shattered glass and flying body—it was too much.
Thrown from her car, I found her first. Her wet hair plastered the highway by a rip in her dress.
WASHED.
If I’d taken the time to know her, she’d have told me her marriage was forced, and she wanted to be washed free from him.
Finally, the river swelled a taker.
“Towanda has two meanings ‘peaceful resting place’, ‘many waters’ or ‘rushing waters’. The latter water meaning is an Osage Indian word.” http://www.babynamewizard.com/baby-name/girl/towanda
Beautifully tragic take, Sydney. 🙂
I knew you’d appreciate it. 😉 Thanks.
Sad story.
🙁 So sad, both for the woman and the MC. I like how you incorporated the title into the story.
Thanks 🙂 Sad story is all I’ve got after it’s been raining all week long… I’ve forgotten what the sun looks like ha ha!
Definitely a story born from a rainy day… Well done, Sydney.
[ Grammar point: ‘Thrown from her car, I found her first.’ looks like a dangling modifier; presumably it was Towanda who was thrown from her car, rather than the narrator. 😉 ]
My Beloved Abby
107 words
Under the bridge is where I found Abby.
The doctor said my wife was infertile. We did not have enough money to adopt a child. Hell, we could barely pay rent.
Abby meant father’s delight. I liked that.
I loved Abby. She brought so much content to my life; I even got her name tattooed on my chest.
But when my wife decided to leave me, she took Abby with her, my only window of light.
My wife had darkened my room and murdered the lights.
I took Abby, not her. Abby was mine, not hers.
Abby belonged to me.
Once again, I had been her taker.
I can sense the darkness of this piece, and it scares me! Good take 🙂
Chilling story.
I couldn’t decide how the MC took Abby. I’m hoping the lights aren’t so dark he’s hurt her…but I know it’s very possible..
Politics and an insane man
109 Words
@welshpauljohn
Under my bed, a stolen crossbow and a map of Sherwood Forest, and both are real. Caught the bus, but wanted to go by space-plane, that new thing that takes you to where Neil Armstrong went, not as far, but you get weightless, if only I had money to burn and a hard head. Don’t lose heart; a future can live for you, despite your past, your primitive weapons. Arrived at Wooded Glade, saw him, the Communist Robin Hood; Comrade felt the warmth of my arrow, straight through his Heart tattoo – “Mum.” I was a thief, he was a thief, I was the giver, he was the taker.
Nice concept of adventure and the end with the Heart tattoo “Mum” is surprising
Thanks
I would like to know what the thief with the ‘mum’ tattoo stole; interesting story.
profit and taxes
I was in the same place as Steph. Thanks for the answer!
Glad I could help
The title set the tone for the unusual take. Strange and compelling.
Thanks
Like the style of this piece.
Thank you for reading it
Mutiny by Design
@talithaarise
108 words
Under the delicate light of Candra, Maiya dabbed thick brown paste on her best friend’s shoulder. The earthy scent of the completed designs mingled with that of the nearby honeysuckle. She fanned the damp paste so it could be quickly covered by the simple blue service worker’s uniform.
The mehendi art, practiced for generations on Earth, was banned here as an act sacrilegious terrorism.
By day, she was a regulatory nurse, ensuring hospitals followed strict government guidelines. Quiet and obedient, no one ever suspected that hidden beneath her garments were the marks of silent rebellion.
Because only in night’s transforming power did she disclose a latent inner risk-taker.
Always the quiet ones are the most dangerous.
Thanks for your comment, Steph!
So different from anything I could ever come up with myself. I’m very impressed.
Thank you, Steven. It *might* have been influenced by one of my Nepali students bringing me delicious Nepali food today 🙂 (Hence the peculiar spelling of Mehndi)
What an original take! ‘silent rebellion’ – brilliant!
Games
@agardana09
108 words
“Under!” A boy yelled.
“Under what?” The class responded.
“Underwear!”
The class erupted in laughter.
“Under!” A girl yelled.
“Under what?” The class responded.
“Underwire!”
The class remained silent.
“Oh, don’t you boys know anything?” The girl asked, aggravated.
“We know underwear,” the boy supplied.
“There’s more to girls than underwear.”
“There is?” The boy asked, suddenly curious and curiously flushed.
“Yes.”
“Prove it,” he egged her on. “Or, lose the game.”
The girl stuck out her tongue and lifted her shirt over her head.
Their teacher rushed forward, then. Gabbing the boy and girl and moving them to time-out.
Another boy stepped forward and smiled. “Next taker?”
Whoops – I forgot I needed to incorporate the photo!
Still a great story 🙂
Thanks!
This is still a great story. I could definitely see this going down on a playground full of unsuspecting teachers 🙂
@stellakateT
102 words
Designs of Life
Under the soil is serenity, the scent of the lilac pungent and cloying; the nicest spot in the garden. She always admired it, watching the sun rising, its rays stretching across the lawn and ending at the tree roots. I remember when I took her to meet Todd, she tried to appear calm but she was terrified. I told her all the top models did it. She chose this crazy little design, our initials entwined around a purple thistle. Todd laughed and said another one. There are six buried here I have souvenirs of all my girls. I am the tattoo taker.
I really like the romantic landscape at the beginning to finish in a rather depressing way
Found this both sad and dark, my murderous mind was imagining all sorts!
I’m a little disturbed by Todd’s response. Maybe my mind’s playing twisted dark games, but shouldn’t he suspect something’s afoot? Well written 🙂
Very dark!
[ Did you mean to say ‘Todd laughed and said, “Another one?” ‘? I don’t understand that sentence as it stands. :-$ ]
sorry Geoff I did….. too much in a hurry 🙂
Pictogram of Pain
93 words
@el_Stevie
#Flashdogs
Under the skin the path of ink
Stains a pictogram of pain
Swirling its palette through neural highways
Imprinting an image, indelible, inerasable
On recumbent body and captured soul
Needle-etched with pinpoint precision
A story is sketched for the world to see
As impulse turns unwise declaration
Into untruth, a falsehood on show
When the pulse slows and the story changes
Words imprison flesh, sentence it to life
Covering the heart, broken beneath
A testament to be taken to the grave
An offer made of undying love
But not redeemed, none the taker
Beautiful imagery! I especially liked “Words imprison flesh, sentence it to life.” Great description of body art.
Thank you!
Agreed with asgardana, the use of language is wonderful! The passage itself is very poetic and out of the box
Your kind comments much appreciated 🙂
So sad and my goodness so many lovely phrases! I especially like “On recumbent body and captured soul”.
Thank you!
“words imprison flesh”…now THAT’S what a tattoo is. You hit the nail on the head with that Steph.
I also enjoyed the imagery. The opening stanza is particularly evocative.
Your language as always is mesmerising.
Thank you so much.
Inked
109 words
Kelly Turner
Under the flickering fluorescent lights, Len gripped onto his seat. A wave of nausea flooded through him. God, he hated needles. The buzz got closer, and Len felt the sweat prickle on his forehead. The needle seared his skin. He tried to grab for it, but his arms were strapped too tightly.
This was it. The poison would be starting to seep into his body. His breathing became ragged, muscles limp. Was this how the woman had felt? As the tattooist inked the crossed daggers onto his arm, his vision started to fade. At least he wouldn’t be aware of the embalming: his final punishment as a life taker.
Excellent job. Very nightmarish. The ending was a real shock.
Thank you Mai! X
From tattoo needle to lethal injection, nice take.
Thanks Steph!
Great piece Kelly, good use of the prompt. Also liked the reference to his victim.
Circle
Under the water his ashes are scattered amongst the pebbles. Jonathan Albert Conrad. Next week would have been his ninetieth birthday.
The family leaves. Car doors slam. Trains follow tracks.
The wind whips the waves and the tide rolls across the sand.
The piece that held his cancer drifts far away across the ocean.
The hand that held his wife’s, right up until the end, flows round to Cornwall where they honeymooned in ’46.
His foot is carried to Dover, ready to kick out Hitler if he dares a second attempt.
Water: life giver, life taker.
@maiblack42
A life carried away by the tide, lovely farewell.
Beautiful piece. It bought a lump to my throat.
Loved this story Mai.
CHRIS AND MIKE vs SCUM AND VILLAINY
Brian S Creek
110 words
@BrianSCreek
#FlashDog
“Under no circumstances do you hurt my father,” said Chris.
“Which one is he?” said Mike, as he picked up a hardback bible from a bookshelf
Lined up in front of the pair were seventy-nine very angry prisoners. They looked hungry. For violence.
“I’ll deal with the degenerates.” said Chris.
“Who you callin’ ‘degenerates’?” said a scar faced man with an out of date moustache.
Chris sighed. He rolled up his sleeves, revealing phoenix tattoos on each forearm. With a simple incantation, the fiery birds left his skin.
The colour drained from the prisoners and they fled en masse.
Only one man remained. Chris smiled. “He’ll be the only taker.”
loved imagining the phoenix tattoos leaving Chris’s skin… another good take on the bookends and prompt…. only 79 prisoners waiting in line 😉
Would like to know what the father to this particular degenerate is like!
Love the idea of the tattoos coming to life and flying off his skin!
THUMB NAIL SKETCHER (110 words)
Under lock and key is a hard way to live. It’s the boredom of prison life that gets to you. But I’m an artist, I must create. I’m the Ink Man of Alcatraz.
I chew up colored pages in magazines and squeeze out the ink. Then I collect finger nail clippings. Seriously. I’m not sh**tin’ you. I sharpen them into a needle sharp point and there you have it.
The guys line up for my work. Cigarettes, extra food. Sometimes protection. That’s my fee.
I used to steal things to get by. It’s nice to provide a service, and not be a taker.
Another fine read, Steven! (I suppose you’ll deny you’ve ever been inside too, right?)
Collecting finger nail clippings – ugh, but great use of bookends.
The Amazonian Scar
101 words
@GemLThompson
Under her breastbone the scar shone livid. Harsh coils of flesh sewn together but not repaired. She couldn’t regrow a breast. She didn’t want surgery either.
Anger surged through her. At her. This wasn’t her, she had won. The cancer had been cut out of her body. She had vanquished it. She wouldn’t cry for her lost breast. She would celebrate it.
A quick google search then a phone call and she was all booked in. Soon, when the stitches were out and the wound was finished the ink would soak in. A picture of an Amazonian, the ultimate breast taker.
A brilliant take on the book ends and prompt. I really like the phrase ‘harsh coils of flesh.’
I love this character – so strong and inspiring. Amazing to create such strong empathy in 101 words.
An uplifting, inspirational story, Gem.
[ ‘Amazonian’ is an adjective, so its use in the title is correct. In the last sentence, a member of the mythological, all-female warrior race is simply ‘an Amazon’. 🙂 ]
Wonderful take on the prompt.
Tomorrow
Under the buzz of streetlamps he tried to absorb his neighborhood, but the light was heavy and settled on the asphalt before it could pierce the darkness. It was alright though; he could picture the entire street in his head: The corner store’s broken neon lights announcing the once funny, but so familiar “44th Street Pubic Market”, the tattoo/ barbershop, where he had had his first haircut, his first tattoo, and his first time, and the apartment complex where he shot the man that raped his sister.
He breathed it all in. Tomorrow he would be charged with murder, but that fuck was the real life taker.
110 words
@goldzco21
#flashdog
I read this after only a few hours sleep – last minute entry for me… again – but the phrase “…the light was heavy and settled on the asphalt before it could pierce the darkness” leapt off the screen and slapped me in the face: a real stick-in-the-mind line. Great pacing to an emotive ending. Good work, Carlos.
Powerful slice of urban life from the wrong side of the streets.
Reflecting
101 words
Under the fingers, the handle lay cold. The intricate detail of the embossed design felt as detailed as braille to her fingertips. It was heavy, yet she knew it was because she was weak. Through discomfort – and fear – she slowly raised her hand.
A stranger appeared. The sunken eyes looked at her, squinting hard in a vain attempt at recognition. Hollowed cheeks fell away sharply either side of the mouth. Pursed, dry lips were lost to the pale white of the skin. Dropping her hand, she rested back and felt a tear.
The mirror had become her beauty taker.
‘As detailed as braille’, nice image. Such a sad portrait.
Thank you Steph.
Emily Clayton
@emilyiswriting
107 words
Double Dare
“Under or over?”
“Excuse me?”
“The crescent moon. Under or over?”
I look at him like he’s the crazy one sitting here in a grubby, splattered plastic chair. “Over. I want to look cute, not like someone who hasn’t slept in 25 years.”
He laughs. “A few women have made rather strange requests.”
What does he expect? The entire situation is atypical. I peel myself off the chair and pirouette before the mirror. The mime body painting is divine. I point to my chest. “You forgot a spot. It would be so much easier to get a tattoo. If someone dares me, you know I’m a taker.”
Mime body art, original.
The Art of Preservation
A.J. Walker
Under the railway arches – behind drifts of pigeon shit where the iridescent grime on the bricks portray history through chemical signatures – time and space plays weird tricks. Angel and Mr Jolly (now quiet hipsters) have rented one arch for generations.
This week they were preparing Mr Jeffries. Mr Jolly looked through their records feeling for his life’s narrative; his ink ready for when the images flowed into his head. Angel pinched the old man’s skin between thumb and forefinger – feeling the inelasticity of age.
History threaded as storybook; art. Of man: on man. Preserved.
One day their genius would be acknowledged; then the mounds of bodies would find a taker.
(110 words)
@zevonesque
#FlashDogs
My Captain
by Adam Houlding
110 words
Under derelict and dusty floorboards, Mama hid me before the soldiers arrived.
Yugoslav jackboots stomping. Breaking furniture. Pleading.
The Captain.
He shoved Mama against Papa. His pistol released them of burdens. He paid our neighbour handsomely and stacked my parents above me. Him.
I hid for two days. I felt nothing.
Thirteen years old.
Ten years later, I still feel nothing.
My eyes open and I see the bearded illustrator. His stressed face, scratching artwork into my skin. I force a mistake. Again. Again.
I pray for septic pain. I must have this. I need to feel again.
Something. Anything.
But only see him.
My innocence thief, my childhood taker.
Wow! Fantastic Adam. Heartbreaking. Some wonderful phrases too.
I admire the way you create a whole story, crossing time and space, in so few words. I think the lack of appropriate feelings following a tragedy is very common but is seldom talked about. You do it brilliantly here.
a complete essence captured, very moving and sad
— Dip In The Supply —
“Under the stairs!”
“No need to shout, Dad. I’m right here.”
Only darkness.
“Check the hook.”
She rummages and sniffs.
“Nope. Ah, could still be outside after last week’s fireworks.”
“Fantastic. And what were you and Magnus doing when the power went?”
“Nothing!”
I jump as she sneezes.
“Huh. That cap of his, you’d think he’d be useful.”
“What?”
“You know, AC/DC?”
“Sorry?”
“Forget it.”
There’s a click. As if by magic, we’re bathed in light. Then I notice the brown patch beneath her nose.
“What’s that?”
“Relax, Dad, it’s snus. Perfectly legal.”
“Now you’re a secret snuff taker?”
—
109 words
@edbroom
AWESOME!!
Miscarriage of Justice
Under cross-examination by the DA, I crumpled.
At first he was friendly, saying he knew how I must have felt: locked in a basement until I was ten, bullied in the care home, desperate for affection when I grew too old to stay.
But then he needled me repeatedly about the terrible things they say I did to those girls.
Wanting it to stop, I confessed.
I looked to the jury, but they glared at me or turned away in disgust.
I looked to my lawyer but he stared at the papers on his desk.
Who would be my friend now?
It seemed like Death was the only taker.
@GeoffHolme
#FlashDog
Word Count: 109
Geoff, I understand this MC more than you can imagine. I taught history in high school for a few years then worked with emotionally disturbed youth for fifteen years. For two of those years I worked in a school for youth sex offenders. Almost 100% of these kids were abused and were desperately seeking some affection. My students chose the worst way possible. They needed to be “in control” after a lifetime of being subject to extreme neglect and/or abuse. Many would be in a “locked down” school until the were 21, some would move on to adult prison after that. A few would commit suicide (one while I was there). It was a tragic cycle of broken, horribly dysfunctional homes. Our job was to break that cycle by teaching self-respect and respect for others. My old history lesson plans were of secondary importance. I can only hope I made a little difference in their lives. At least I got them to smile every once in a while.
Thank you so much for sharing that, Steven. I really appreciate it.
It looks like your story “Most Parlors Are Near Bars” and mine have made their own bookends this week as I too have no experience at all in the subject of the story. I just hope that I have managed to convey a kernel of truth from this tragic situation.
On a lighter note and by a happy coincidence, stand-up comedian and punmeister @TonyCowards posted this one-liner yesterday:
“Just had unprotected sex with an undertaker and now worried I might have a Funereal Disease.”
Wacka! Wacka!
I’m laughing so hard I’m coffin. Wacka Wacka backa atcha.
@dazmb
110 words
title: everafter
under a blood moon
I watch you
wordless in rhythm
looking for the ever-after
you once promised
to the ring on the bedside table
gold as the night closes in
silent and luminous
from the birdsong caged in your throat
to the gloss of his sweat
inking itself to your skin
waiting in anticipation
for something to come undone
I turn away, look
at a horizon fracturing
into a thousand ruby fingers
that reach across the sky
and into our bed, left unmade
and the light in your eyes
now fading
the things I keep
buried deep in the woods
mortal acts
of rage and love
so take her, taker
oops..sorry the fifth line from the end should read ‘the things I keep’ rather than ‘the things I love’ – is it possible to change please?
I’ve made the change. The contest closed a few hours ago so this one won’t be going to the judge. Doesn’t stop the rest of us enjoying it though. 🙂
No worries…I enjoyed writing it although I wasn’t sure whether submitting a second entry would be allowed in any case.