Oct 182015
 
Photo Credit: Enric Fradera via CC.

Photo Credit: Enric Fradera via CC.

Good evening, afternoon, or morning to the international flash fiction community. What a fantastic round of MB that was: forty-three great entries and a few new faces (welcome, friends from IICS). Before the results, some announcements:

At 5 a.m. BST Tomorrow (Monday 19th October), voting will open for the best stories of this quarter. You’ll be voting for your top three stories from MB1.40 to MB1.52. The authors of the top three stories will each receive a copy of Writing Short Stories by Ailsa Cox (that’s a real book with paper and ink and that new-book smell), and will also go forward to the Micro Bookend of the year contest to be held soon.

Remember, after this round I’ll be taking a break while I deal with a major family event. The next contest will (hopefully) be on Thursday the 3rd of December. Watch out for Twitter updates.

Honourable Mentions

Greyscale by Steven O. Young Jr.

A curious story with a nice use of passing time to lead the reader through the story. A very literal use of the photo prompt for the town of Greyscale with its achromatopsia-afflicted (literal or figurative?) inhabitants.

Tippy Toe by Steven M. Stucko

One from the weird drawer the uses a single detail – the pointed leather shoes – from the photo. They’re so pointy that all male members of the proud Shoemaker family (I love the line, “The Shoemakers made sandals for Jesus, for Christ’s sake”) must have their little toes removed at birth to fit into them. Fun.

It Started With A Glyph by Ed Broom

Such a fun premise. A guy can’t get a date because he’s very particular about how she writes her number and uses silly childish rhymes to teach her. Made me chuckle. Still, our man does his duty and takes her dessert order. Great closing line.

The Infamous Uncle Enzo Stops By by AJ Walker

Another fun piece that had me laughing. While most stories had the man in the photo as a menacing figure, this one had him has the hapless Uncle Enzo, smoker of putrid cigars and clearer of restaurants.

The Hit by @dazmb

A very creative story that on another week may have made it into the top three. I love the use of code as the two Mafia men discuss the hit. The golf clubs, tee-off time, is the ball liable to run fast when I start putting. All very clever with a classic closing line, “My respects to your family.”

3rd Place

Courting Danger by Firdaus Parvez

This piece is just crammed full of conflict: the pressure from her mother to marry him to repay ‘the debt’; the fact he’s twice her age and “his huge frame filled the space across from her”; the fact her lover who was trying to persuade her to leave has recently been killed; and the clincher – when she realises the man in front of her was probably responsible for his death. The MC sums up her situation succinctly in the line, “Do I have a choice?” Excellent title too.

2nd Place

Long Shot by Brian S. Creek

So much tension for such a short story! From the details (“drinking his favourite coffee: a cappuccino, with cinnamon and chocolate on top”) you know this operation has been long in the making. We don’t know what the target has done, but the MC dislikes him (“the fat bastard”) and that’s good enough for us. I love the three short, short sentences, “My rifle waits patiently, trigger begging to be squeezed. My target looks up at the sun. My phone beeps.” Then BANG. It’s all over in a moment. Nice closing line.

Winner

Miscalculation by KM Zafari

This emotive piece made me think of two cultural references: the scene in The Godfather where Vito Corleone is frolicking with his grandson in the garden before dying the perfect death (oh, the injustice after he was the mastermind of so much violence) and Vultures by Chinua Achebe where “the Commandant at Belsen Camp going home for the day with fumes of human roast clinging rebelliously to his hairy nostrils will stop at the wayside sweet-shop and pick up a chocolate for his tender offspring waiting at home for Daddy’s return.” Yes, love can be found everywhere even in those “whose very name inspired fear.” The line “caskets were not supposed to be that small” had me reaching for the tissues. And the conclusion brings home the perpetual cycle of violence these people are involved in because you just know their families are going to want revenge…

Miscalculation

KM Zafari

Five years old. Capricious. Mischievous smile. He could still feel her tiny arms wrapped around his neck. “Faster, Grandpa!” she’d shout as he galloped around the house like a pony.

What a softie she turned him into. He, of all people, whose very name inspired fear.

Loving her left him vulnerable; he knew that. But there were unspoken rules, lines that shouldn’t be crossed.

Caskets were not supposed to be that small.

If they thought they’d finally broken him, they were right. Was it time to hang his hat? Perhaps.

But not yet.

He checked his watch. Dinnertime – perfect.

They were about to learn the true meaning of “family”.

Oct 112015
 
Photo Credit: via David Spinks CC.

Photo Credit: David Spinks via CC.

Welcome to the results show. Before we get down to business, an announcement:

On Monday the 19th of October, voting will open for the best stories of this quarter. You’ll be voting for your top three stories from MB1.40 to MB1.52. There will be prizes! The top three stories will also go forward to the Micro Bookend of the year contest to be held soon. Remember, you’ve got to be in it to win it, so if you haven’t had a winning story yet, this week’s contest is your last chance for this quarter.

Now please join me in thanking this week’s judge, Bill Engleson. Here’s what he had to say:

I have spent the morning reviewing these excellent entries. I have also felt the piercing pangs of judging. I will never visit a courtroom ever again, either on-line, on the Tube, or in an actual courthouse, without paying huge respect to the lot of the lonely judge.

Without meaning to sound like a wishy-washy, namby pamby non-judgemental sort of guy, may I say that I unreservedly found pleasure in each and every entry.

Another day, one cup of coffee more, or less, a different Toronto Blue Jays game echoing in the background of my Judges Chamber and the selections could have been different.

Anyway, I had a bit of a technological learning curve…new computer that I am slowly, agedly becoming familiar with. Also, if I seemed to have skimped on the length of my comments, I was trying to avoid my penchant for rambling on, a disreputable quality not suited to a micro fiction judge, or so I imagine.

Honourable Mentions

The Summer of Love by @dazmb

The wistfully sad, slightly bitter tone of this ode to the 60’s hooked me. Again, my time, albeit in the less raucous Canadian landscape. The image of idealists having fallen into the self pleasuring grace of gambling added to the sorrow.

CHRIS AND MIKE vs THE MYSTERY OF DORO STREET by Brian S. Creek

Maybe it is my uncomfortable and enduring affection for “The Birds” but this darkly funny tale (at least, I think its humorous) got me going. The punch line is so so true.

Help Wanted by KM Zafari

I am obviously a failed punster never having made the leap to Civil Serpent. This bit of witty commentary drew me right in, the balance of the job descriptions kept me going.

What’s in a Word by Stella Turner

I am a sucker for talking birds. There were a few entries that used this technique. The humane measures humour (or not) in this one struck a perverse chord in me. Worthy of a last-minute but no less valuable honourable mention.

3rd Place

Burtons Suit Blues by Ed Broom

Right out of the chute (or shoot) a great pun, very creative use of the bookend. And the tone of the end bookend…marvellous. This tale also pays homage to the Jazz Micro Bookends contest a short while back which I thoroughly enjoyed. A sad yet hopeful mood piece, I grant it 3rd place.

2nd Place

The Implacable Nature of Being by A V Laidlaw

As a former front line civil servant, I couldn’t help but be drawn in to this sojourn into a bureaucratic maze. With the smooth use of the bookends and the agony of seeking a correction, I signed off on 2nd place.

Winner

Blackbird by Karl A Russell

This sad and beautiful story ripped my sometimes cynical heart out. There is a snippet of humour, a quiet bowl of sorrow, some learning (I was once a marriage commissioner – one specific role filled by a humanist ceremonial officiant, I discovered.) Quite a complete and oh so loving story. My 1st choice.

Blackbird

Karl A Russell

“Civil partnership, is that it?”

“What? No Mum, that’s something else.”

“Oh. Well, what’s that other one then? Humourist or whatever?”

I can’t talk to her, so I look out of the window instead. The smokers in the shelter look like bedraggled birds, waiting to spread dressing-gown wings and soar toward the sun. I wish I hadn’t quit.

“We were partners though.”

I look back, feeling my throat tighten.

“I know Mum. I know.”

She looks like a little bird herself, perched at the bedside. She’s still holding his hand.

“It’s called a humanist ceremony. Yeah, I think he’d like that.”

She smiles through tears.

“Humanist. Yes, that’s right.”

Micro Bookends 1.46 – Results

 Results  Comments Off on Micro Bookends 1.46 – Results
Sep 062015
 
Photo Credit: Mike Fleming via CC.

Photo Credit: Mike Fleming via CC.

Welcome to the results show. It’s a corker today, with the same writer taking second and first place! But first, a huge thanks to this week’s judge, @dazmb. Here’s what he thought of it all:

Before we get started, take a moment and give yourselves a pat on the back. You are all sorcerers of your craft. This week’s stories gave me hours of reading pleasure before I had to knuckle down to the intimidating task of putting them in a semblance of order.

In the parlance of my young teenage son (and would be skater boi) your sick skilz transported me away from the skate park to courtrooms, outerspace, treasure hunts, A&E, classrooms, railway tracks, office parties, Mount Olympus and all the way to the delivery room.

A tour de force of entries and an education too…Xu, xenogamy, xenogenesis, xerophytic, xenolithic and xi…who knew?

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity and honour of extending the following thoughts on my favourite entries. It was an incredibly difficult task to order the final list of winners and I look forward to rejoining the fray and fun of sharing our stories together next week!

Honourable Mentions

Skater Boy by C R Smith

Out of all the entries this one made me smile the most, hence its inclusion in the final run-down.

I thought the angle taken on the ‘skate park’ setting was original and the phrase ‘fresh eyes and false memories’ inspired.

The contrast between the narrator’s amazement that he indeed was able to ‘carve frontside performing a 360’ versus his hapless accident made me snort out loud.

But what really sealed it for me was the last line.

‘Skater Boy’s back in the game!’

He thinks he’s got it, the reader knows he doesn’t and as a consequence a difference in perspective is established for ongoing comedy…I’d love to read about his further exploits.

I bet he’s a dad dancer extraordinaire!

Cnsl Fr Th Prsctn by Karl A Russell

So at first, my brain crawled out of my ear when I read this. But when I finally worked through the story I loved it.

The technique of removing the vowels has been done before I think, but its use here served a genuine purpose, suited the ‘graffiti’ photo prompt, and made for an altogether original entry.

It’s a light hearted story, but I felt it made an interesting point about how language evolves; something that should concern us all as writers.

Technology continues to radically alter our means and methods of communication. We live in an age, where generations communicate by emojis and emoticons and think nothing of incorporating twitter acronyms such as btw, wtf, b4 and fwiw into their everyday writing.

How do we respond to this? Like the magistrate, a member of the establishment, raging against the light, railing against the (brilliant) reduction of ‘T b r nt t b’? Or, indeed do we embrace the revolution of a world without vowels?

A piece that wore the questions it raised very lightly. Thought provoking and fun. A winning combination.

Porlock by A V Laidlaw

‘Xanadu in concrete…’ This was my favourite opening out of all the entries. A vivid contrast that grabbed my interest straight away and has stuck in my mind ever since.

I will also put my hand up and admit to a little subjective bias. I live in London and took a keen interest in what I assume this story relates to…the graffiti ridden skate park on the Southbank and ‘graffiti alley’ in Waterloo and the risk they face from gentrification and development.

But aside from the factual relevance what stood out for me in this story was how it reduced the mythical: ‘Xanadu’, ‘Sacred Thames’ to the mundane: the ‘dismal school days’ and ‘the stink of the gym’.

All at the hands of a jaded jobsworth who cannot see the wood for the trees, whose being is consumed with the petty idea of getting his own back, excellently portrayed in the phrase “he puckers a tiny smile”.

Mr Porlock hates games. I don’t think much of him either.

4th Place

X-Games by asgardana

A rite of passage story given a thoroughly modern makeover.

At the core of this story is a friendship between Carla and Kyle, both coming terms with the inevitable changes of adolescence.

There is an honesty and openness in their relationship that shines through the tricky subject matter.

Kyle’s curious to know more. Carla’s secure enough to start coming to terms with who she might be: strong enough to do so on her terms, rather than Kyle’s, but forgiving enough not to completely cut him out when he realises the mistake he’s made.

Carla’s a great character – I’d like to know more about her.

In today’s age, where x-rated material is so freely available to skew impressionable minds, it was reassuring to read a story that touches on this subject matter, but ultimately is about a boy and a girl getting to know each other as friends, rather than objects.

So while this piece of flash fiction stands by itself, it has the potential to withstand being fleshed out into something more substantial and longer. That’s why it made my top four.

3rd Place

Skater Girl by F. E. Clark

Oh, I did like this in your face character mea culpa. Setting out its uncompromising stall in a compelling first sentence the piece doesn’t stop until that dismissive last line.

It spoke to who we project ourselves to be versus how we see our ‘real’ interior selves and how we continue to reconcile the two as time passes.

So our skater girl is now a city girl? (“I hit the 180” is a great, double layered meaning of a flash fic sentence). Is she a sell out? Is she looking for your opinion goofyfoot? Judge away, she’s walking on by in her Jimmy Choo’s.

But then again, can she really be a skater girl, down to her core? Is she simply kidding herself?

Telling yourself a thing doesn’t necessarily make it so.

And then… there is the perspective of age and the question she has yet to ask herself or understand…how long does your past define you? Before it fades over the horizon and you forget who you really were all those long years ago?

But for now, she’ll keep it hidden, be as ‘cold as stone’. Tell herself ‘It’s all a game’ and not worry about any future reckoning.

Tough, sassy and full of the certainty of youth. All good stuff.

I love stories that get me thinking, that ask questions of myself, that raise more questions the more I think about them. This one certainly did. I have probably returned to this story and thought about it more than any other. That’s why it made my top three.

2nd Place

A World Divided by X by Brian S Creek

This is just an absolutely top notch, piece of writing.

I wasn’t sure whether the author had read my bio, with its passing reference to science, but as soon as I read the opening sentence, I hunkered down, certain that I was in for a treat.

And what a treat. 100 odd words and the author has established context, backstory, place, motive, the outline of a plot and developed the main character. Phew

“I eat when I can, sleep when I can. The rest of the time I hunt the bastards down” is an awesome bit of writing. It’s simple, short, punchy and at the end I really felt like I know this women, understand what makes her tick, who she is…

The bookends were seamless and the writing beguilingly effortless. Every word serves a purpose and as soon as I’d finished reading it, I read it right the way through again, muttering to myself ‘blimey, I wish I’d written this.’

It is a lean, mean, absolute masterclass in flashfic.

Forget about the MC being on top of her game.  There’s only one person on top of their game here, and that’s the author. Brilliant stuff.

Winner

When the Student Becomes the Master by Brian S Creek

X.

Y.

Z.

I have to be honest and say I wasn’t entirely sure where this was going to start with, but what unfolded was a quietly heartbreaking tale of a dyslexic father helping one son with his homework while playing with his other.

The photo prompt was incorporated in an original way, and I liked the way the author, title aside, kept the reader on their toes and the story unobvious until the teacher /pupil relationship was inverted in the middle of the passage.

The sentence ‘I struggled with it back in the day and it ain’t no easier now’ has a lovely forward momentum that segues into the MC’s building sense of resignation and failure that ‘Frank down the road doesn’t let it beat him down’ before finally boiling over into a sense of frustration that his child’s toy is mocking him.

And then, suddenly, the story ends, with a simple question:

‘Would you like to play a game?’

I found the juxtaposition between the simplicity of the question, the patience of one son and the unquestioning love of another, eager to play with his father, versus the father’s pent up emotions, certain that he is failing one child and will fail another, incredibly powerful and moving.

What will he do? Lash out or absorb his frustration, his anger? The question is left open, but the irony that the story allows the reader to see what a loving and capable father the MC is, even if he cannot fully appreciate it himself, only heightens the emotional impact of the ending.

It was incredibly difficult to choose between this and the second placed story. The latter won my head over, but this truly deft and skilful piece of writing won my heart. And in the end that’s what I went with – the poetry of the final question – it snagged my heart – and shone a light on the emotional core of a father’s relationship with his sons.

Congratulations to all you flashfic genies, and to this author in particular!

When the Student Becomes the Master

Brian S Creek

X.

Y.

Z.

How about W, for ‘who gives a crap’. Pythagoras, fractions, algebra; it’s all gibberish.

Graffiti on the page.

My son looks up with patient eyes. I’m supposed to be helping him with his homework but he’s the one teaching me.

I struggled with it back in the day and it ain’t no easier now. I used to blame the dyslexia but Frank down the road doesn’t let it beat him down.

My three-year-old walks over to me holding his new favourite toy, a second-hand Mr Spell. Damned thing is probably smarter than me too. It mocks me.

“Would you like to play a game?”

Sep 032015
 

Welcome to MB1.46. I’m tossing out a wild card this week, so go have fun with an X (x-ray, xylophone, Ximenes etc.) You can also use GAME or GAMES as the closing bookend. Enjoy.

The X Games is an annual extreme sports event organised by ESPN, the American sports broadcaster.The first X Games were held in 1995 and featured events such as skateboard street, barefoot water ski jumping, and street luge. Two years later the first Winter X Games were held and featured events such as ice climbing, super-modified shovel racing, and snowboarding big air. Some winter X Games events are now included in the Winter Olympic programme.

Shaun White from California, USA, who celebrates his twenty-ninth birthday today, is the most successful X-Games athlete ever, having won thirteen Winter X Games gold medals for snowboarding, and two summer X Games gold medals for skateboarding. He has also won two Winter Olympic gold medals for snowboarding. Today is also the birthday of another X-Games legend. Sarah Burke was born on this day in 1982 in Ontario, Canada. She won five Winter X-Games gold medals for freestyle ski. Not only was she a great athlete, but she also successfully lobbied the International Olympic Committee to include freestyle ski halfpipe in the 2014 Winter Olympics, an achievement for which she was inducted into the Canadian Olympic Hall of Fame. Tragically, Sarah died following a training accident in 2012 and never got to compete at the Olympics.

Here is this week’s photo prompt:

Photo Credit: Mike Fleming via CC.

Photo Credit: Mike Fleming via CC.

The Judge

Judging this week’s contest is @dazmb, winner of MB1.45. Read his winning story and what he has to say about flash fiction here.

What?

A story of between 90 and 110 words starting with X* and ending with GAME(S) and incorporating the photo prompt.

Who?

Anyone, but especially you!

Why?

Why not! Because it’s fun. Because it’s a challenge. Because the winner will receive their own winner’s page, their story on the winning stories list, a ‘Who is the author?’ feature to be posted next week, entry into the ‘Micro Bookend of the Year’ competition, and a copy of this year’s winning stories compilation.

When?

Now! Get your entry in BEFORE 5:00 am Friday (UK time: http://time.is/London).

Where?

Here!

How?

Post your story in the comments section. Include the word count and your Twitter username (if you’re Twitterized). Don’t forget to read the full rules before submitting your story.

Anything else?

Please give your story a title. It will not be included in the word count.

Please try to leave comments on a couple of other stories. It’s all part of the fun, and everyone likes feedback!

Remember, only stories that use the bookends exactly as supplied (punctuation, including hyphens and apostrophes, is allowed) will be eligible to win.

Who is @dazmb?

 Who is the author?  Comments Off on Who is @dazmb?
Sep 012015
 

@dazmbOur most recent winner is @dazmb. Follow him on Twitter.

@dazmb has kindly agreed to judge this week’s contest so pay attention as he tells us a little about himself and his writing:

@dazmb was born in a small village in Scotland, but he now lives with his wife and two children in London. For a living he works with numbers, but in his spare time he prefers the company of words.

He thinks science and poetry are best equipped to get to the truth of things.

So, great story. How did you get there from the prompt and bookends? Thank you. The photographic prompt was very powerful this week, so I wanted to put it front and centre of my submission.

Initially I wondered whether Foreigner’s ‘Eye of the Tiger’ offered a route to a story.

It didn’t.

However it reminded me of ‘Tiger’s Eye’ gemstones. Googling that led me to chakras and Durga, a leap of imagination to yoga, before finally a sigh of relief when I discovered that ‘Tiger Pose’ really is a thing.

I built up the story, sentence by sentence, from those four elements.

Finally, as the piece required readers to buy in to Durga’s transformation, I added the “blonde, skinny, decaff lattes” description at the start of the story to ‘warm up’ their imaginations and provide a strong visual element from the outset.

100 words ain’t many. How do you fit a story into so few words? Decide on the story elements and then build up sentence by sentence until I’ve finished the first draft.

Thereafter, a savage edit is usually required (although this time, happily, not so much!) to strip the story down into its essence and to meet the word count. My two main rules are;

  • Generally, no connectives
  • No adjectives or adverbs unless they are working really hard. ‘Skinny’ meets that criteria. At the end of the piece ‘Calmly’ provides an effective contrast to the mayhem that’s just been unleashed,

Why do you like flash fiction? The combination of imagination and discipline required to turn the word count, bookends and prompt into a finished piece.

I visited the site for a number of weeks in awe of what people were able to put together before I was brave enough to take a punt myself.

Been writing long? Lots of teenage poems at the back of my drawer.

I have always read, but hadn’t really written anything until I came across Three Line Thursday’s and then Micro Bookends’ twitter feeds and websites.

You write anything else? No, mainly just Micro Bookends and Three Line Thursday, although, recently, when I have the time, I’ve also started trying my hand at slightly longer pieces at Flash! Friday.

Any advice for other flash writers? No. I am constantly taken aback at the variety, scope and risk taking on show each week. Everybody is incredibly supportive of each other and this gives me lots of confidence to keep writing. I hope this is the same for all those who submit work, or who are thinking about it.

Any interesting writerly projects in the pipeline? Not really. Most of my submissions are very character driven and I seem to have a creative well which supplies me with an inordinate amount of material for murders, psychotic episodes, death and general murky sadness.

I’m therefore trying (and learning from you all) to write more plot driven and humorous pieces.

I would also love to write fantasy, but I have to say I find that the hardest of the lot. Kudos to all you fantasy writers!

I just finished reading a book. Can you recommend another? Two, if I may.

The Poem and the Journey by Ruth Padel is a masterclass in understanding how poets put language to work.

Woyzeck by Georg Büchner. The first ‘modern’ drama. If he was alive I’m sure Büchner would have written flashfic. His scenes are short, sharp nuggets of perfection.

(…plus all the science books).

 

Aug 302015
 
Photo Credit: David Elwood via CC.

Photo Credit: David Elwood via CC.

It’s Sunday. That can mean only one thing! Tomorrow is Monday. Oh, and Micro Bookends results of course. First a huge thanks to Steph Ellis for picking the winners. Here’s what she thought of your suped-up stories:

To find myself judging at MB, or anywhere else for that matter, is a daunting process. I’m well aware of the high standard of those who contribute week in, week out; I know what it takes to keep submitting, hoping for kind comments and, even better, a placing. I know how it feels if you don’t receive any of these. So to all those who entered this week, I would like to say thank you for giving me the privilege of reading your stories, all 41 of them! It was a difficult task and one which I hope I have done justice to. I read all the stories more than once and even when I sorted out my winning order there were many others which just bubbled under and which I wish I could have included.

Honourable Mentions

Eve of Creation by A V Laidlaw

And God created man in his own image but when he stood up, he looked ‘a little unfortunate’, a phrase that made me chuckle. Then he made Eve, he did better.

I, Tiger by KM Zafari

Having made the beautiful animal extinct, man is reduced to creating a synthetic version and still learns nothing. What a sad state of affairs.

What Immortal Hand or Eye? by Karl A Russell

A humorous take on the Creation story, over-worked Azrael misses date with a dragoness, so gets his own back on God and modifies the tiger’s brain.

Sun Flag by Richard Edenfield

A story of the perennial clash of man with nature, perfectly described as his ‘midnight mass of blind ambition’. Even when extinction occurs, violence is still the weapon of first resort. Another lesson not learned.

4th Place

Body of Evidence by Rebekah Postupak

Powerful little story of triumph over adversity. A daughter born with spina bifida, survives against the odds and has a normal life proving the experts wrong time and again. Touchingly told with the pride and love of a mother who turns the experts own words on themselves, they were the ones who needed modification, not her daughter.

3rd Place

lunch by Jack Koebnig

One of the most seamless uses of bookends this week. A lovely dark (but humorous) monologue by a food critic of another kind delivered in such a matter-of-fact tone to make it seem completely normal. You can almost see him drooling as he discusses his favourite cuts … until his little bubble of satisfaction is burst when he bites into some delicious human morsel and finds a repair made out of metal. Wonder what he would have thought of silicone enhancements?

2nd Place

Broken by Marie McKay

A beautifully crafted chunk of darkness. The juxtaposition of the evilness of his deed in the setting of what is normally a haven – the family table where his innocent daughter does her homework, where the family take meals together, the place often described as the centre of family life – was particularly clever. But then again isn’t this the perfect place to make his creation, a mother for the child, albeit one made from the body parts of others, for isn’t she the heart, the centre of the family? Very little is described, there is a reference to a body, drilling, the table becomes a mortuary slab, eyes, apron, there is no need for anything else, we can already see what is going on. Yet this erstwhile Frankenstein is also protective, sensitive; he covers the body and takes his apron off when his daughter’s ‘midnight feet’ approach even as he hints that his daughter is aware of what he is up to, ‘Mommy will be ready by Christmas’. It makes you wonder, did he also create his daughter?

Winner

A Hungry Business by dazmb

I have been considering taking up yoga again but after this I think I will stick to the gym! As soon as I started to read this, the words just fell away and became a movie in my head. The immediacy of this effect, brought about by clever and sparing use of dialogue and narrative is a sign of a truly skilled writer. I was there, in that exercise studio. I could see the women posing (the ones who give you an inferiority complex as you struggle whilst they maintain their air of annoying perfection); Durga manifesting the power of her Goddess namesake to become the tiger, the creature of destruction; the screaming, the killing, the aftermath. I was there and I could see it all. I also enjoyed the subtle touches of humour, the slip-of-the-tongue reference to devouring instead of taking the lesson, the use of the last bookend to ‘yoga, with some minor modifications …’. All done with so little telling. This writer made it look deceptively easy. A gem of a story, a potted perfection.

A Hungry Business

dazmb

“…body and mind aligned; push back into downward dog”.

The blond, skinny decaf lattes who took this class meant nothing to Durga.

Her attention returned to the class instructor. ‘Yogi’ she insisted on being called, as if she understood the deeper rituals.

Durga channelled her energy into the tiger’s eyes taped to her chakras.

“…and forward on all fours, left leg raised, into tiger pose.”

Summoning the power of her namesake Deity, she willed the transformation.

Padding forward, amidst the screams of fear, she growled deeply “I’ve come to devour…I mean take this lesson.”

She calmly pawed her whiskers. ‘Think of it as yoga, with some minor modifications…”

Micro Bookends 1.43 – Results

 Results  Comments Off on Micro Bookends 1.43 – Results
Aug 162015
 
Photo Credit: coia.nac via CC.

Photo Credit: coia.nac via CC.

Hope you’re all having a great weekend. Ready for the results? First a big thank you to judge, juror and executioner, Karl A. Russell. Thanks Karl! Here’s what he thought:

Wow! 39 entries! What a bumper crop of awesome tales! I read them all on the trip into London yesterday, and despite engineering works, rail replacement buses and unseasonably warm weather for the UK, they made the journey fly by. With a pair of bookends like Plot – Twist, it was a given that there would be murders aplenty, cunning plans and last-sentence flips, but there were also meta tales of the writing life, Scrabble battles and one or two wonderfully quieter moments. As ever, the variety of styles and stories on display are a testament to the wealth of talent I’m lucky enough to know.

But there have to be winners, so here goes:

Honourable Mentions

Make The Kill by Brian S Creek

This drew me straight in with the short, sharp sentences and incorporates an actual twist – setting up the protagonist as the assassin before skilfully revealing their actual objective – and makes seamless use of the bookends.

A Home Is A Safe Place by A V Laidlaw

Another great twist here, albeit far more subtle. While the protagonist’s friends are saddled with abusive drunks for fathers, the man here seems completely oblivious to the damage he has wrought. The horror is muted and implied by the protagonist’s obvious fear, and that last line is dynamite.

Chris And Mike Vs The Strangler In Paradise by Geoff Holme

It’s worth pointing out that I’ve judged these blind, and won’t even look at the authors until I’ve sent in my results, so at this point I really don’t know if this is by Brian or by one of the many Chris & Mike fans he’s building up with his unhinged tales of supernatural hokum. Either way, the genderswap is a wonderful conceit, playing on our familiarity with the characters to surprise us while still working as an actual Chris & Mike tale, all of which earns it an HM.

3rd Place

Loving More Not Less by @dazmb

A series of beautiful images elevate this to the truly poetic. It is one of the quietest tales this week, and I almost dismissed it on first reading, but those soft psalms and spiralling leaves remained with me, and with every reading the impact grew greater.

2nd Place

Family Obligations by Emily Livingstone

Another quiet piece, but with a sense of unease and isolation which builds extremely well in such a short space. The nervous tic makes for great use of the closing bookend, suggesting an ellipsis rather than a full stop, a brief, thoughtful pause before the story continues. With Aunt Vera being such a sensible (and rather crotchety sounding) character, I’d love to see where else this goes.

Winner

In Memoriam by Rebekah Postupak

Probably the funniest piece this week. I wavered between loving and hating the protagonist as they added their snide remarks to the list of funerary expenses. The writer made clever use of the format, contrasting the matter of fact shopping list with the pretty scandalous private thoughts to create a recognizable and believable character in very few words. Extremely well done and great use of the bookends (although the cheeky little note about the photo almost cost you a few points…).

In Memoriam

Rebekah Postupak

Plot (single): $2,000

Grave liner: $1,800 (seriously?)

Opening/closing of grave: $1,475 (note—Saturday surcharge because they can, the vultures)

Maintenance fee: $250

Headstone (includes installation): $3,200 (note: sappy text still needed for engraver)

Coffin (“solid cherry”?? as if. What a ripoff): $3,490

Flowers for funeral service & gravesite: donated by friends and family (awesome!!!!!!!! <– write thank you notes)

Funeral home fees (incl embalming & death certificate): $3,800 (Q: tip for (smarmy) director??)

Post-funeral dinner: covered by in-laws (TELL SOPHIA TO NOT LET M-I-L COOK!! BLECH!!!!!!!!!!)

Anticipated total: $16,015

Anticipated life insurance payout: $2,000,000

Whoops, hahaha! Almost forgot!

Dead body: kiss (disgusting! HELLO BREATHMINT) + $5 martini with a twist.